Well, today marks the end of it I suppose. Unless, well its just a big ugly joke. I’m horrible at reading people I found out. I wish people were more straight forward with me. It sucks. Spencer called it quits on me. I’m not sure if he’s just afraid of what our relationship has spun into or if its truly the fact that he said he wants to be alone. Honestly, who REALLY wants to be alone. Pfft, it just blew my mind today. We have never really argued so maybe that’s the reason to why he freaked out? Who knows. I think its because we have been spending too much time together. There comes a point where you need to get a break from someone. I sat on his couch for probably a good hour after we broke up sobbing yet smoking all the weed in the world. Yes, I said it. I smoked all the weed before I left. I’m horrible with this. Being high most of the day helped but what happens when tomorrow comes and I have to face things sober and going to work dealing with crappy people. I guess we will see….hope he takes it back and yet the other part of me hopes he understands to very last drop of emotion how it felt to be me today.
Took a walk downtown tonight. Candi and Brian went with…I had high hopes of clearing my head. All I got a was a damn headache and few ugly pictures of myself.
